If you recall, Monday I was extolling the virtues of Columbus Day, explaining my dismay at the lack of mailage… especially when I am expecting my yarn winder. The grand issue was that I paid $8.60 for shipping for my yarn winder. Now, I’m no walking postal scale, but that would lead me to believe that I would get my package…. oh I don’t know…. sometime soonishly after paying for it.
Yes, right about here you can chuckle and say “Foolish Mortal”, its okay, I’m totally expecting it.
Also, because I also completely weird about shipping I log on to the United States Postal Service website and constantly stalk my package. I also stalk other people’s packages too, like anyone who has bought something from my shop has had their package stalked…. I’m stalking Stepherz’ package right now (and aside from sounding dirty, its true). I even signed up for the updates on my package’s whereabouts. On Friday it reached Warrendale PA, and left Warrendale PA at 7:30am. Warrendale is about 25 minutes or so away from me… so I skipped around my house with glee almost assured that my yarn winder was almost in hand.
Yeah, it never came Friday…..right about here you can chuckle and say “Foolish Mortal”, its okay, I’m still totally expecting it.
But, I still had the contented hope that I would receive it Saturday- you know, since its so close in proximity to me and all.
Yeah, if you didn’t chuckle at all the first two times… you can totally do it here.
So Saturday came and went, then Sunday, then I was unknowingly visted by the vile holiday known as Columbus day. But yesterday……….. Oh Tuesday…… it would not forsake me. Just to make sure, I posted a note up on my door for the postal person to ring the bell so I would know when it all arrived. Around 3pm my bell rang and I ran down the steps. I reached the bottom and discovered…… it was just my usual mail lady and no yarn winder. Still, its pretty kick ass that she rang the bell. So we started talking about how my mail will get stolen occasionally and said that if I like she’ll ring the bell everyday when she drops off the mail. That is awesome. Now I can stop stalking her the minute she steps on my street. So I leave up my sign, because obviously it works, and return upstairs. About 6pm my instant messenger BINGS that I have a new email. Its from the post office (because remember, I signed up for updates on my package’s whereabouts). The message states that they attempted to deliver the package, but no one was home so they left a notice and I can maybe pick it up tomorrow or they may try to redeliver it. Mind you…. I never left the house and it says they tried to deliver at 4:05. I was home at 4:05, I was awake and washing dishes at 4:05. I ran down to the porch and there is no notice. No sticker saying “Hello, we missed you…”- nada. My sign was still hanging right in plain view. There was no bell ringing, there was no knocking, nothing.
If you like, you can totally imagine me doing the Charlton Heston Planet of the Apes “damn you, damn you to hell, you damn dirty apes” speech right about now…. go ahead… I’ll wait.
So then I call the main post office number, because obviously they wait until the post office is closed to give me an alert of attempt of delivery. The lady there was very nice, especially considering that she was talking to a crazy mail obsessed lady…. moi. I explained my issues, and asked if there was a way she could just note to keep the package where it was and that I’d come get it. “Just let me know which post office its at and I’ll go pick it up- honestly if I have to wait one more day I think I may scream”….. “that’s delightful mam, please remember to bring your ID.”
What I think is the ultimate in burnsauce is….. its at the Mount Oliver post office which is about 5 blocks from where I live. Not only can I not have it, I can not have it five blocks from my house.
Edited To Add:
So I went to the Post Office to pick up my yarn winder- of course it rained all this morning. I might consider buying a lottery ticket except I’m terrified that the ticket will papercut me and open a vein.
Anywho, I get that sucker home and open her up. Guess what next?
Go ahead….. guess….. it’ll be fun…….. go on………..
Give up? My new yarn winder isn’t new. Its been quite very used. The handle had…..gunk…. and it was very dirty. Currently my theory involves knitting postmen who raid packages to wind their yarn.
It could happen.