Should I Feel Guilty… Even Just A Little?

Because I give my kid foreign currency and tell him its pirate treasure.

Its weird, MM (that stands for middle monkey) has a weird pirate fixation right now. He has pirate treasure, a pirate sword, a pirate treasure chest, and pirate cartoon movies to watch. If given the option between perfectly good Sesame Street and a cheap 50 cent Walmart clearance pirate cartoon…. take a guess which he’ll pick? I just tell myself that its a cartoon retelling of Treasure Island (which it actually is) and that he’ll be a future literary genus…. this is what I tell myself.

LM (Littlest Monkey) has entered into the biting phase of midget hood. This is my least liked phase of midget hood… followed by the hair pulling phase but only cause I have the longest hair in the house.

I’ve been trying out knitting lace and so far it pisses me off. Well, not pissed but I am walking in unfamiliar territory when it comes to Yarn Overs and am just starting to get used to it. The pattern I chose is fairly easy and only requires 6 pattern lines that you repeat, with 3 of those lines being “S1, purl across”. I hate purling but I love this row.
Why am I knitting lace you ask? Well you see the hot months are a coming and with the hot months also come the hot winds and the thunderstorms. What do Hot months, hot wind, and thunderstorms all have in common you ask? They ruin my hair is the answer. My hair will freakishly stand on end and krinkle….. KRINKLE… with these three evil hair hating thingies. So I’ve been making kerchiefs to wear. I don’t give a great god damn if the grunge look is done with and bohemian/gypsy was SOOOOOOO yesterday. What I know is that they tame my evil krinkled hair out of my face and regardless if I look like Willie Nelson I’m pretty happy with not having hair in my face. See proof below:

That is my hair long before it grew and needed a cut to which I went and got it cut where the hair stylist cut off 8 inches from the back and 9 from the front and my hair STILL goes below my shoulder blades and past my bra strap. That, my friends, is alot of hair. Alot of hair which KRINKLES.

I’m sorry, do you not know what krinkle hair is?

Krinkle hair is hair that will poof out and be frizzy but not fashionable frizzy but each hair follicle will bend in random 90* directions all along the follicle and not look nice and tame at all. Why do I keep it down at all? Because it will get worse if I never uncage it, and I long for hair like I had in highschool- minus the lame hairsprayed hair sculptured bangs we had back then. So kerchiefs it is!
Sure, I’ll be the only mom on the playground wearing one, sure I know it completes my urban hippy ensemble, sure I look like an escapee from Fiddler on the Roof….. but it will restrained with lace and how sexy is that?



  1. Severina said,

    April 30, 2006 at 10:27 am

    You know, you could knit or crochet a snood. You’d be the only mom on the playground with one and the others would be sooo jealous. Because snoods are damn sexy. Look at all those 1940s movie chicks with their long hair in black fishnet.

    Now I’m wishing my hair was long enough for a snood.

  2. Stephanie said,

    May 1, 2006 at 9:34 am

    Ok so this weekend I was pulling weeds in the yard and sporting a kerchief and this kid rode by on his bike and yelled, “PEACE!” My only idea is that he’s been taught that people with kerchiefs on their heads are hippies???

  3. Stephieface said,

    May 1, 2006 at 1:27 pm

    In my neighborhood its not so unusual. I live in a fairly run down neighborhood and most of the ladies here will wear one just before and just after they get their hair did.

    Its true!

  4. Severina said,

    May 1, 2006 at 8:12 pm

    Most of the hippies here tend to go for the giant crocheted beret.

    Nowhere near as sexy as a knitted lace kerchief.

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