First Taste Is Free, The Next Will Cost Ya

So this past weekend the Conley family had a big to do.

A Birthday? An Anniversary? Perhaps a Wedding or a Funeral?

Nope. It just so happens that this past weekend, by hubby and all of his siblings and their spawn happened to all be in the same place at the same time.

But come on… that’s a family reunion.

Indeed, but it was just hubby’s parents, siblings, sibling’s spouses, and the appropriate children per Conley kid pod. No great Aunt Friedas or Uncle Georges. Know that my hubby is one of five kids and now you can grasp a minor scope of the size of the impromptu grouping.
In any case, previously my mother in law had spoke to me about my Sister In Law’s burgeoning interest in knitting. Being a knitter of course I got involved. I made a wee knitting kit for my SIL. I gave her a lovely sewn bag I had in colors that aren’t obnoxious, a few small balls of yarn, an extra set of 10″ size 6’s I had lying about, and I allowed her to borrow one of my treasured possesions…. Stitch’N Bitch volume 1. Mind you… I hardly lend books out anymore- having had a number of my favorites be absconded with for all eternity. However I figured that since she’s family she’ll be easier to track down for a forceful reclaiming should it come to it and the fact that she’s pregnant means she won’t be able to run as fast- so I have a chance.
As I sat showing the female in laws how to cast on and do their first row of knitting in garter, I thought back to how I learned to knit.
Its usually at this point that most people tell beloved tales of how an equally or more beloved relative showed them how to click sticks at some ungodly early age when ADD apparently did not exist. Let me save you that same old same old.
I have no beloved tale. In fact no relative I have knits. I learned to knit almost 4 years ago when I taught myself how while pregnant with Sam who will be four this October. Want proof? Here you go, you heartless bastards…
Its not a pretty sight. There is me all 6 months pregnant, knitting in the wilderness of backwoods Pennsylvania no less. One can only hope I am barefoot and near a kitchen in this picture to complete the whole ensemble. In honesty I was working the kitchen at a LARPing event… hence the apron. I actually live in downtrodden urbania in the city.
Nevertheless, there I am. On a supply expedition at the Walmart a cozy 40 minutes from where I am sitting in the pic, I decided to sneak a peek at the backwoods Walmart crafting section. For whatever reason I was possesed to buy size 11 needles and this is me trying them out for the very first time.
You see I started with the Boye, handy dandy “Teach Yourself To Knit” kits. So I started with the 6’s. After a few failed tries at purling (you have to give me credit, the Boye directions read like a C++ manual and I don’t know C++) I set knitting aside. Then one day as I sat talking to my husband, we began to dream about the revoloution. Some day there will be a revoloution and when that day comes my husband has decided that we will hide out in the wilderness until the some day war ends. While my husband who was a marine can quite obviously shoot a gun, and has gone hunting while he was growing up- I have done no such thing. And while I am comfortable with the idea of eating bambi (and yes he IS tastey), what could I contribute? I decided my major contribution to existence in the wilderness would be……. I would knit socks.
Really, when the revoloution comes will sock companies still be making socks? Can we be sure? Perhaps it was some domesticated instict in me being pregnant and all…. but I swear its because you cannot exist anywhere in this world without socks. Period. I don’t care who you are or where you live… you’ll need socks.
So my knitting expedition was restarted as I browsed websites on how to make socks. Then I stumbled across her. I don’t care what you say, but she is a goddess…… Terri Lee Royea. Now before you go thinking that I actually decided to learn the basics before I took on socks… well… that means you haven’t read this blog enough to know that I never do anything easy. I immediately went out and bought a set of DPNs and got to work. I was actually doing quite well provided I did not stray from tubes. I became so comfortable with DPNs that I rarely knit anything that wasn’t a tube. I made pouches and hats…. maybe with a few drinks I might even admit to sleeping with the DPNs I loved so much… but then I’ll deny it in a sobriety induced haze the morning after.
After that I induced the “Never Knit Anything Bigger Than My Head Rule” because frankly that’s way too much commitment and I never wear sweaters anyway. I love knitting and I hope to pass it on to others.

You want to know the ultimate irony though? I still don;t know how to make socks and have yet to make any.


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