Stephieface

When I was first pregnant, I hoped and wished that I would have an artistic child. I do have an artistic child, and that child is Sam. Sam was the one who decorated my walls earlier, and decided that the Christmas tree looked best in the bathroom. I have honestly cleaned more of his artworks off of household surfaces than I can recall. Some I take pictures of, and some are lost to the Mr Clean Magic Eraser (btw, if you have sharpie marks on your walls… the magic eraser is [as everyone has told me] simply magic at removing them…. sure they are expensive, but you can use those suckers till they start getting holes in them and they still take the permanent ink off the walls….. thank you Rachel and my sister btw). Since then, we’ve introduced him to this new medium called “paper” so that I can keep his little works of art…..

We’re looking to move possibly in the next month or two…. the round trip drives back and forth to the Mister’s work and the current gas prices (plus my want to move away from neighbors who shoot out my windows and break into my car) have us looking to relocate closer to the Mister’s place of empolyment. Sam decided to draw a picture of what he wants in a new place to live…..

First, wherever you see a heart and scribbly lines that’s him writing a note that says “I love you” to me. So, we can clearly see he wants a yard and a tree. He wants us to set up the bunk bed we have for him and TJ (we just got it, and it would make no sense to set it up then have to take it back down in a month). We’ve made sure to make the TV accessible to the boys (that’s the box below their bedroom) and we have a big enough table for everyone to eat at (that would be the globby leggy thing to the bottom right), and in the room above the kitchen is a room for their toys…. apparently the Mister, Danny, Zach, and I don’t get to live there.

Next we have a picture he drew of us living in our new house….

Ass you can see, Zach gets omitted from a few pictures… this is mostly because he usually lives with his mom and stays with us occasionally. Sam draws him at other times, just this explains why in the house drawings there are only 3 kids instead of 4. Usually when he draws the family, I’m always holding Danny in some way or another… so the person holding someone else is me, and I’m holding Danny. The two people in the middle are Sam (on the left) and TJ (on the right) and that is the Mister all the way to the right there. Our van is also in the picture there at the bottom, with the dentyness remaining from our little accident.

Sometimes he draws his imagination…..

I get to feature in a lot of his imagination drawings too… which is awesome in a picture like this, and sucks when I happen to be getting eaten by something. In this picture, Sam and Zach are dragon riders, Sam is the one on top holding a shield. Me? I’m the princess in the tower wearing the princess hat so that you know I am princess… and much like in real life I have terrible balance… see how I’m leaning to the right and holding on to the castle for dear life?

Hopefully, I’ll be getting even better pictures in the future as I was just now finally able to get Sam and TJ into preschool. The school is over by my MIL, so it will take some finagling to get them back and forth- but I’m happy they will be going somewhere! We had to go with a preschool by my MIL mainly because for whatever reason the one by me kept blowing me off and losing my application, etc. In any case, the boys are super excited to be going, and so am I (for them… I’m happy for them…. though I’m allowed to go and spend the day if I want… and nap time is kinda alluring………).

Once, a long time ago, I posted that my goal in life had been to become a starving artist. I was speaking of a time when I was 7 or 8, and still thought that just because you drew well meant that you would have a career at Disney…. because they possibly has sensors or psychics that knew when a cartoonist was created, then they would hop upon their mouse eared jet, find me, declare that I was a chosen one, and whisk me away to their Disney studios where I would work in luxury for the rest of my life.

I also thought that one day I would marry Bo Duke or Remington Steel…. so… yeah.

Although the mouse eared jet never came and took me away, I never stopped sketching and drawing (whenever I write or say the word “Drawing” I hear it in my head as ‘Drawring” and immediately think of Simon and the Land of Chalk Drawings) some sketches are good, and some are quite bad. Some I do to make a point here on this blog because I know of no image I can use (like, for example, the Strapping Capacity picture), and some I do because I am bored and start doodling. Some I color (badly I think), and others I leave au natural in their penciled state. So I thought I’d share some with you…..

The Dragon is painted with acrylics on the cover of a composition notebook, this is a pretty bad scanning of said notebook.

This is not all the stuff I’ve done, just some of the things. I used to think I sucked at sketching, but now I feel more confident I guess. At least I got over my whole overloading on smudging thing I was going through for awhile.

_______________________________________________________

Grand Theft Stephie

So Sunday night I was sent out to buy some much needed things, things like diapers and wipies and such. On my way to one of the local Walmarts (Bridgeville, because it still has its craft section and has not yet forsaken me) I had an interesting experience.

Interesting you say, Stephieface?

Oh yes indeed….. I was pulled over for allegedly stealing my own car.

As the red and blue lights started flashing in my rearview, I began to panic slightly. The gauges on my dash had just gone out (due to a short, unlike the Mister I am not adept at smacking the dash to force it back on), so I really had no idea what speed I was going- I was guessing. Since there was a cop pulling me over, I assumed that I had guessed wrong and had become Speedy McStephieface- turning the road into my own personal autoban. So I opened my window, turned off the van, got my license/registration/insurance info out and ready (making sure to leave my glove compartment open so they could see that I was packing only band-aids and alcohol wipes) and waited.

I took off my gloves and placed my hands on the wheel. Two cops (and soon another car worth of cops) came around and began to ask me questions, while one questioned me the another shined his flashlight all through my windows.

They informed me that they ran my plate and it came up as a Honda, where my minivan is decidedly not a Honda. They then explained that Caravans are super easy to steal. They kept running my plate, and it kept coming up as a Honda. I began to worry that someone had stolen my license plate like they had stolen my MIL’s tires (they stole her brand new tires and replaced them with about to pop old worn tires). People are starting to come out of their houses to see what has warranted such attention from the cops.

Long story short, the one cop’s partner kept reversing the last two numbers of my plate whenever he entered it in, causing the mixup.

Only I can be pulled over for stealing a car I own… I swear. The absoloute kicker is, I wasn’t even speeding, I was doing the exact speed limit- which is why they ran my plates to begin with…… I was driving too lawfully.

Yup. Only me.

Once there was a video game created…… it was ….. Desert Bus.

You played alone…..

It had no soundtrack…..

It had only three things…. you…..  driving a bus….. in the desert…..

Your maximum speed was 45mph…..

The bus pulls to the right……..

There is no scenery on your drive from Tucson to Las Vegas, save for the occasional cactus or bug splatter on your windshield……

The drive from Tucson to Las Vegas takes you 8 hours…. real time…. and if you took your finger off the button you had to start all over…..

The objective was to earn the most points…….

Completing the real time eight hour drive from Tucson to Las Vegas earns you…… one point ……..

Why am I telling you this? Because.

Or really, the guys over at Penny Arcade (one of my favoritest comics ever) created in 2003 a charity called Child’s Play. The charity buys toys and videogame stuff for hospitals so that children recovering and undergoing serious health issues can play them. Kids need to be kids, even if they are sick……

Some folks decided to start a charity drive for Child’s Play called Desert Bus for Hope, where a team of “drivers” play the game Desert Bus, and each dollar you donate buys time…. time the drivers are forced to spend playing Desert Bus. So the more you prolong their Desert Bus suffering, the more money is raised for Child’s Play.

Come on, you know you want to……

On the Desert Bus site you can watch the live Desert Bus cam and watch the game just as the drivers have to, you can watch the Driver Cam and watch the driver play the game as they have to, and there is also Live Chat so that you can talk to the driver as they play the game they have to. So not only do you donate for suffering… you can watch it too.

Sweeeeeeeet.

I wonder if it is still possible to be stuffed the next day?

The Flying Diaperinis and I headed over to the Mister’s Uncle’s house for Thanksgiving. The Mister stayed home, feeling not quite up to snuff. Lots of people were there…. Myself and my children, my SIL her husband and their children, My Uncle-in-law (?) his wife and their children, and my MIL and FIL… in addition my Aunt-in-law’s (?) sister and baby were there, as well as my AIL’s BIL………

We were very in lawful up in that house.

It was an awesome time, nonetheless, even with all the in lawfulness.

I don’t have too much else to write about today, but I’ll leave you with some linky linkage. I read a good many online comics, some I’ve already told you about (like Girl Genius).

First there’s the aforementioned Girl Genius, a steampunk comic with (as promised) Adventure, romance, and mad science. Its written by Phil and Kaja Foglo, a husband/wife team. Its awesome, and it updates with a new comic every Mon, Wed, and Fri.

Next is Howse!!1 M.D. I am an avid watcher of House M.D., so when directed towards this comic I immediately went straight away. Its a funny look at the show. I love a few things about this comic, I love Howse’s blue eyes, Wilsun’s ginormous eyebrows, and the fact that Chase is simply called “pritty hairz” and wears a pink bow. Usually updates the day after an episode of House airs, but check back often anyway.

Next is Dark Legacy Comics. This is a WoW comic, so if you know nothing of World of Warcraft some of the things won’t make much sense to you- if you do know WoW, you’ll find some funny here.

Earthsong is a web comic I just discovered this past week. I like the back story of Earthsong, and some of the extras (like where myths come from) are really interesting. Updates Mondays and Thursdays. I found Earthsong from checking out the links on……

This artist has two web comics, one that is complete (Inverloch) and this one she has just begun, The Phoenix Requiem. This one also updates every Monday/Thursday.

Then there’s Fey Winds, which is awesome and cute, and also something I discovered just this past week. I love a lot about this comic. I love how the characters interact with one another, how they look, and the quirks and whatnot of the characters (one character can get possesed randomly by passing ghosts). One of my favorite things about this comic is why one of the guys is traveling with the group… its a curse, and its just unique. Updates every Monday.

I have a few others that I read, but check them out- and if you read a webcomic, let me know in the comments and if its new to me… I’ll check it out as well.

Last year, I had probably one of the most memorable Thanksgivings ever. I cooked (all on my lonesome) a Thanksgiving meal for the Mister, Sam, TJ, Ben, my dad (who was visiting), and myself (Zach was with his mom). This is monumental, because of three reasons……

1. it was the first big holiday meal I had ever made entirely for my family, usually we go over to someone else’s house

2. I was suffering from the worst morning sickness I have ever had with any of my children. The meal took longer than normal to make because I had to run off every 10 minutes to spew.

3. I managed to overcome my first Thanksgiving snafu when I cooked the bag of ooky extras inside the turkey.

So, when this year I was offered the oppurtunity to go over to someone else’s house for Thanksgiving I jumped at the invite. The Mister, however, thinks we should stay home and that I should once again cook for everyone. Now, I could take that as a compliment as it sounds like it could be…… but the actuality is the Mister would rather stay home, not shower, be in his gutchies, play videogames, and still be served turkey. Mediocre turkey actually, because I’m not much of a cook. If there was an instant just add water dish, I made it. We had instant stuffing, instant potatoes, canned yams, canned corn, canned greenbeans, and instant gravy. I did actually cook the turkey myself, but if there was such a thing as a just add water 20lb cooked turkey, I’m sure I would have had that as well.

I don’t play pretend that I’m a good cook, I know I’m not. There are only a few meals in this world that I can make well……. homemade tacos, pancakes, french toast, and omlettes. If I traverse outside my one dinner/three breakfast repetoire…. I tread on shakey ground.

I’ll worry more about making Thanksgiving dinner when the Flying Diaperini’s start bringing future-daughters-in-law home…. you know… when I might start getting some help.

By the way, while I was writing this post I could hear this in the other room…. Yo! Gabba Gabba “There’s A Party In My Tummy”…….

There is nothing sadder in the world than depressed carrots and green beans who weren’t invited to the party.

Most of my AOCP (Adult Onset Chicken Pox) have done really gross things… like pop and scab over even though I haven’t touched them. I can withstand itchiness for the most part. When I was pregnant with Sam he made me so itchy all over it would keep me awake at night. Often I spent my middle of the nights taking epsom salt baths and that would fix it long enough for me to go to sleep. I refused to scratch because I was told it was just my skin stretching, and scratching will make stretch marks (I was young and knocked up, give me a break)….. and I still got stretchmarks anyway.

Perhaps my willpower can be attributed to the zen-like state I reach trying  to see pictures in my pox… kind of like seeing pictures in clouds, but far more disgusting…. and itchy. I can see in just one of my pox:

A man raking leaves

A SeaDoo at an angle

A lilypad and a cattail

A shark making it past the floaty bobbers at a beach and readying itself to eat a swimmer

A SIMS headstone if you turn your head sidewaysto the left

The bottom of a cat’s back paw if you turn your head to the right

And The Starship Enterprise if you look at it upside down

If you haven’t yet guessed, I’m the sort of person who makes light of most situations…. which is a good quality to have when you’re covered in itchy hurty pox.

Lately its been just awesome here at Chez Stephieface for all the feeling like a kid again that’s been going on for me. I feel like a child once more because………………………….

I have chicken pox again.

Technically, I have Shingles…… which is different from Singles (cause I’m not a stripper) and also a terrible name for a sickness (especially if you’re trying to look up an image of ‘Shingles’ on Google and then are flooded with page after page with pictures of people’s roofs). Its just chicken pox, but since I’ve already had chicken pox in the 1st grade (I almost missed a field trip because of it) and since I’m old, and since it isn’t itchy just hurty as all get out….. its called Shingles.

I think the name, Shingles, sucks. It makes the chicken pox sound like Scurvy or Scabies, or some other “S” ailment that sailors are struck with. Its not any of those things, its chicken pox. If I were to meet someone who was not chicken pox immune and I was in the contagious stage, do you know what they would contract? Chicken pox.. because that is what it is.

This is why my last two posts were fairly ho hum,  and short. I haven’t really been in the mood to be funny (especially not with the Mister following me around claiming I have both cooties and the heebyjeebies). One of the symptoms of Shingles is tenderness and pain. They really should say excruciatingly annoying pain, that would be more appropriate. When I move it hurts, when my clothes brush against me it hurts, if someone passes by me while I am applying ointment to the bumpies and cause a current of indoor breeziness to gently caress my skin… it hurts.

Still, the thing that  bothers me the most about it is its name… Shingles. We should rename it… suggestions?

Adult Onset Chicken Poxies

Poxies with Moxy, so go eat some Chocky

Overexposed Goosebumps

Pixie Poxies

Coward Pox

Poultry Pox

Or since Shingles started with a roofing term……

Bitumen (since I’m really bitter and bitey since getting them)

Cupola (cause it sounds like roseola or echinacea)

Fascia

Gypsum (I could use some Gypsum to use their crystal ball and magical powers to make this end)

Raggle Block (mainly because it sounds like Fraggle Rock)

Vermiculite

And my personal favorite… Cant Strip, because of the pox I can’t (not that I did before, but hey… I like to keep my options open) .

Okay… not really… but since I went to a baby shower last week, Danny has been sick with a cold and an ear infection, the nephews who attended with me are also sick, and I myself was (and still am) ill. The only thing we all have in common is that we all attended the same baby shower. We were swimming awash in a sea of baby shower germs I tell ya.

So I thought I’d give you all an update on my newest Flying Diaperini, Danny.

Danny is now 4 months old, is 25inches tall, and ….wait for it….. a whopping 20.5 lbs. My nephew Buddy is only a month younger and is 13 lbs….. a whole new baby’s difference between the 2! I can’t wait to see what happens  when he gets real food.

The baby that ate Pittsburgh, indeed.

Sometimes, you do things that may not be your “thing” simply because it is your significant other’s “thing”. For a lot of women, this is watching football. I, however, love football (go Steelers!).

For me, the “thing” is World of Warcraft. I started playing it this past week because its something my Mister thoroughly enjoys, so much so that I often refer to WoW as “The Other Woman”.

So why for did I enter in to this videogame menage a trois? Mostly it was because the Mister often complains that I never do anything anything he wants to do (which I often beg to differ having been pregnant with 3 of our 4 kids). So, while he is still shocked and mystified that I can turn off the videogame to go watch Moonlight (oooo Alex O’Laughlin) or Pushing Daisies…. he pronounced this past weekend as “the best weekend in a long time”- which says a lot I think.

He loves that I am playing now, and while I’ll never be junkie about the whole thing (it may be that I meet too many 12 year olds in the game world) the fact that he’s happy does make it worth a little something.

So while he allows me to have my slightly unhealthy Gerard Butler fascination, I’ll play a quest or two with him and everything is alright.

I recently saw a post on Jenica’s blog where she posted, as part of the self portrait challenge, a picture of what she normally wears. This got me to thinking, not so much of what I normally wear (which is basically different variations on the theme of jammies) but rather what I love to wear. I have two shirts that are my favoritest most comfortable things to wear and both are from the same “people”.

First of all, I’ll admit now that I am a closet rennie, I love love love me some renn faires. More specifically the Maryland Rennaisance Festival. Amongst all the things and people you can see there, my absoloute favorite from the last 12 or so years has to be the act called Hack & Slash. I saw them on my very first ever visit to the MD renn faire and when I can attend they are the one and only thing on my to do…. err to watch (ahem)…. list, everything else is just gravy.

My parents have even gifted me in the past with H&S swag…. like DVDs and of course the previously mentioned shirts.

Firstly, this was my favorite shirt to wear while I was pregnant…

God Save the Keg indeed! I love this shirt!

Secondly we have what has been basically a foundation of my wardrobe since its procurement……

My Operation: Swashbuckle hoodie! How can you not love Swashing Buckles andBuckling Swashes? Its kind of hard to tell but H&S have autographed the apple (on the tshirt as well) so those are signatures and not dirt. I have worn the absoloute mother lovin’ heck out of this hoodie. First you’ll notice that the front is rather stained and obviously worn. This hoodie is pratically everyday wear from the moment that I got it when Sam was a baby and it shows. If you squint (and possibly imagine) you can maybe see where I have reattached the top of the pocket several times. My children routinely hang from the pocket in a way which makes me really thankful that I am not a kangaroo. While the tshirt fits like an average normal everyday tshirt, the hoodie is something ridiculous in size… like a 2X or something (and I’m 5′4″). The hoodie harkens back to the 80’s where wearing oversized sweatshirts was fashionable, and as I love me some 80’s so too do I love this hoodie.

By the way, Operation: Swashbuckle is real thing. H&S flew over to Iraq to entertain the troops. You can check the H&S website gallery for pictures and videos of them over there (plus check out the exploding spam).

Anywho, each time I wear these shirts I remember how much I laughed, and how much I giggled. I remember how the memories of laughs and giggles got me through midnight feedings, colicy nights, and evenings spent mopping puke when I’d rather be sleeping in my nice comfy bed. I feel happy and comfortable in my favorite shirts.

Now, I just need to get the ‘Action hero.’ hoodie…..

Edited To Add:

I sw this on esmerelda’s blog, and like her I will tag myself and if you wished to be tagged consider yourself so…..

Rules: List one fact, word or tidbit that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your first or middle name. You can theme it to your blog or make it general. Then tag one person for each letter of your name.

S: Silly, I’m quite silly, I strive for a constant state of silliness…. its true!

T: Ticklish, in random odd places as well as the usual.The most ticklish spot I have requires the Mister to talk right behind my right ear. I twitch like I’m having siezures.

E: Emotional, my reaction to most things is always initially quite emotional. The girl sobbing at commercials for no good reason whatsoever? That’s me. Watching a wedding on TV? Yeah I’m a puddle. My kids draw a picture of me? Saline goo. My kids even ask now if they see me tear up… Mommy, is this a happy cry?

P: Parent…. I should hope so with 4 kids

H: Handy, I’m pretty handy with things. I’m a kick ass amatuer plumber and refrigerator repair woman. I was once called Martha Stewart on Crack… though I’m still debating if its a compliment or not.

I: Icky, at any given moment I have no doubt that one of my children have left some sort of personal fluid on me…and that’s icky

E: Extrovertedly Introverted, oh yeah you read that right. I’m always nervous and shy when I meet new people… however, this nervous shyness causes me to be overly extroverted in social situations to compensate. I can’t…. stop… myself….

F: Funny, I like to think I’m funny- and other people have told me that I am…. even leaving off the delayed “looking” that should follow.

A: Artistic, I know I am artistic. I sketch, and paint. I love drawing and painting things

C: Crafty, “….she’s crafty and she’s just my type…..” (hehehehe Jenica) I knit, crochet, and sew. I like to think I’m pretty crafty.

E: (grrr… too many E’s) Edible, only of course if we are stranded somewhere and I’m dead, though I’m pretty sure I’d taste like boiled potatoes…. or chicken…or boiled potatoes and boiled chicken. I’m pretty salty though, so you’d need to drink water with an entree of me.

Tag if you want it!