Stephieface

So this past weekend, as I stated earlier, I had 6 sales from my shop. This was awesome. Today I made yet another sale, and sock monkey Harry is on his way to go live with his new owner. Bon Voyage Sock Monkey Harry!



He’s such a charmer.

In other news I have been working on another pair of fingerless gloves that will be for sale in my shop. They are Black and Orange and will be named : Halloweiner Fingerless Gloves
Because we all know that Class and Ass rhyme, but weiners have more comedic value.

On the neighborhood front, The Mister came home last night and started looking through online listings for new places to live. Perhaps he and I have finally come to an agreement that perhaps God is trying to give us a great big sign that says ‘Get the hell out of Dodge’. So we are currently on the lookout for new digs to move the Stephieface household to. Hopefully we can get someplace closer to where the Mister works, but not too far away that we become hermits. It will be a chore to try and find a place with the crew we have now, but hopefully we’ll be able to do it. So I sat back and thought about what we would need and I was told that if you need something to put it out there in the world that you need it, so here goes:

• 2-3+ bedrooms… we do afterall have 3 kids
• A yard for the kiddies to play in (that isn’t an urban jungle)
• Nice neighborhood where I don’t have to fear my children being eaten by ghetto dogs or being caught in crossfire
• A neighborhood where going outside safely at night could be a distinct possibility
• A neighborhood where vandalism is not the norm
• A nice house or apartment that isn’t falling down around us (and leaning… did I mention the leaning?)
• Someplace with a kick ass laundromat where, like the one I go to now, I can watch goth kids do their laundry (which entertains me to no end)
• A place that we can easily afford while also being to do things like, get gas for the car, and eat.

So there it is, my list. I put it out there… hopefully something good will come from it.

Sometimes when I visit Sachi’s blog, she becomes the siren of online quizzes… luring me to my doom with one I haven’t taken. Like this one:

What Monty Python Sketch Character are you?

You are a waitress! You’re destined to serve Spam and Lobster Thermidor to Vikings every single day of your life…
Take this quiz!

See? Tempting, isn’t it?

In other news, my online store has been hopping. I have made 6 sales since yesterday (Fri)- how awesome is that? So pretty much everything I busted my ass to make and put into my shop this weekend was already purchased. On one hand this excites me to no end, let me tell you. On the other, I begin to wonder if maybe I’m not selling the stuff for enough and since its all so cheap is why its getting snapped up so fast. Oh well, I can’t really complain in any case you know? I opened a shop to sell stuff, so I can’t complain when it does!
Personally I think the new sales can be attributed to my new naming policy, which is… to name the stuff as I originally intended to rather than going for the classier more business like option- which I had been doing. So rather than having “Black Bag With Red Print Lining” to describe this bag:

I instead named it, “Burning Sensation”. I know, it simply exudes class. And this bag’s alternative title was “Black Bag With Green Print Lining”:

And sold with the name “Draining The Lizard”. Perhaps my filthy mind will finally become an actual use to me.

This all got me thinking with my filthy mind, mayhaps its karma? Not like the I did something good so good stuff happens to me kind of karma- that NEVER happens… I mean, I am ME afterall. I think though that this is the upswing payoff for enduring my last two weeks or so of not so good luck. Like, before I went on vacation (we’re talking the day before), I get some not so good news about my dad’s health mentioned to me in passing (oh yes, in passing… as in…. stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff bad news I didn’t know about stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff… I think it was just overlooked that I wasn’t told, but it was blindsiding nonetheless), then in my stress heightened state my doorbell (which I contemplate yanking from the wall everyday) starting ringing nonstop… I run down the stairs and throw open the door to discover that its one of the neighborhood kids. Apparently, right in my own backyard as I was being told, the fat kid down the street (see: fat kid on the roof) was trying to sick…sic…set his pit bull on my stepson! In my own yard! So I tear off down the side alley to my backyard to scream at trouble making fat kid and his vicious snarling demon beast of a pit bull that’s straining at its rope to get me so I can save my dog fearing stepson. Apparently I screamed so loud that I brought out the neighborhood- which is a good thing to know in the future- and had the Mister tearing down the steps himself to see what was up. Add to this and ant infestation in my room at the cabin, and by infestation I mean the true meaning of the word… not like 10 or so ants. Then the following night when Le Incident occured….. My Father In Law is a wonderful man (of who else I received not okay health news about) and is at heart a Techie… so we at one point were watching DVD movies on his giant screen in the yard…. and to make a long story short, my one nephew who is not even 2 somehow escaped and ended up playing in the lake. Not BY the lake…. IN the lake…. and I was the one who discovered him wandering in the woods trying to get back to the cabin (by no means am I sorry that I found him with what could have been the alternative, I just wish it had been someone else who was in my place because I have been having nightmares ever since). Then when I returned home there was my epic battle in the kitchen trying to kill two ginormously humongous beetles that were terrorizing my husband making him think he was going crazy. Then there was the whole business of Sam painting and cutting my swap partner’s first hoodie. There was also the Mister- stepping- on- my- luggage- and- stepping- in- just- the- right- spot- that- he- crushes- my- face- soap-tube- so- it- squirts- all- over- the- clean- clothes- I- had- in- there- and- all- over- the- inside – of- my- last- surviving- suitcase (the one previous being used as a …ahem… “dumping” ground by the middle kid).
Its these sorts of time clumps that make me ultimately sure that I have Most Extreme Elimination Luck. Seriously. Maybe since I am in the luck upswing I should buy a lottery ticket? Suggestions on numbers anyone? Really all in all, it just makes me wonder- you know?

Now its back to the sweatshop!

ETA:
HA! Get this… right now its 5:30am. I was awakened at around 4 by some muffled sounds. So I shuffle downstairs to get a drink and to peek clandestinely out of my windows all old lady like to see what’s going on outside on the front street. Apparently my neighbors have decided to hang out on their cars and play their bumpin system in their car as a party stereo. Its seems benign so I ready to return to bed, and then all kinds of hell breaks loose. The noise escalates until its the man neighbor screaming at the woman neighbor to let him in and unlock the door. He screams for about 15 minutes banging and kicking at their door for her to allow him in. Then he picks up a cinderblock and walks out to their car and threatens to throw it through the windshield. I call 911 at this point because they’re starting to wake up my neighborhood. She then unlocks the door and yells at him, and as I am on the phone with the 911 operator he walks over and punches her in the face! She begins to scream! She screams she’ll call the cops! He threatens that if she calls the cops he’ll blow her f’ing brains out!
So I’m telling all of this to the 911 guy.
5 minutes or so later the cops show up. The cinderblock is still in the middle of the road and and all has gone quiet over there. The woman neighbor comes out and talks to the police, who shine their flashlights straight in her face the entire time she is talking to them. Five minutes later, the cops have called for an ambulance and it shows up to treat her I suppose… or him… who knows at this point really?
I am terrified now. Calling was the right thing to do- but what sort of repurcussions am I going to face for doing so? Will my house be vandalized? My life threatened?

Walking the right road is never easy, but walking the easy road is never right.

ETAA:
And it gets even better!!! So this morning while I was making up a cup of coffee, I saw the fat kid down the street and his friend hanging around the car of the man neighbor (the one that he threatened to bust up last night). They seemed to be casing it to me, to the Mister it looked like they were looking for previous night damage. I thought perhaps he was right and that I was being entirely too suspicious.

That being said, that was how I was thinking, until I saw this (and just barely had time to snap pics):


What are these exactly photos of you may ask? These would be photos of the fat kid’s friend stealing the man neighbor’s car stereo.

So we come to a crossroads of what to do exactly. Why is it a difficult decision?
1. Man neighbor, by his behavior that I have witnessed in the past and just last night, hits women… so I am disinclined to aid him.
2. Fat kid’s family has already shot out one of our windows in the past, and tried to feed my stepson to their dog, this is in addition to them vandalizing our vehicles and threatening to harm our children.
3. The kid who did the actual stealing, his family routinely walks around the neighborhood and talk about “dealing with” people who mess with their family and get their members in trouble.

So where does one draw the line between what is right, and what is safe? Obviously these photos were taken from my house, from my floor, from my kitchen window- so there would be no hiding as to who took them. So do I do something about it, or take the chance and pray that nothing is done to my family and most importantly to my children in retaliation?

So, a few weeks ago I told you all about how I joined up for the Craftster Pimp My Craftster Username Swap (say that five times fast). You can click the link there to be taken to the gallery.

As you can recall, I had asked you for some ideas so that I didn’t end up sending her a box full of bird stuff. In the end, after much discussion with the Mister, I ended up just making whatever and putting her name on it. Of the things I sent her I remembered to take pics of two- crazy right? Me the girl who purposely took pics of the laundromat forgot to take pics. God I am so lame.

So I painted the back of a hoodie for her (which was the #1 request from pretty much everyone in the swap and we had a hoodie shortage halfway through), but what to paint? I went through 4 designs (all involving birds with tattoos and mad eyes) before I came up with what I ultimately did…

I’m still really critical of some aspects of it that I think I could have done better, but as this was #2 (Sam as mentioned decided to help and add his own creative influence of painting and tailoring on the first) things aren’t going to turn out the exact same as #1. For those interested here was the sketch:
Problem #1? Getting this design on the back of a black hoodie. Believe you me, it almost ended with me coloring this in my photo editing program and printing it on one of those special fabric printing sheets you can iron on to clothing. I tried several methods, and the one that worked was that cheap ass transfer paper for marking patterns on fabric, the down side was that since it was the cheap ass paper when it was brushed against or moved the design came right off which is why the face is different in the sketch than on the FO.
Problem #2? Remaking it when Sam decided to help and having to take it with me on vacation to finish up there. The trip up erased the face and fingers, I could have cried.
Problem #3? Hoodies are not the easiest of canvases to paint on, then again it could be because this was the first time I had ever painted one. If you are curious (because I know I was and it took me forever to find out) its just plain acrylic paints with Textile Medium added in. You can find the textile medium in any craft store. I bought mine at JoAnn’s because Walmart was out, it was on the top shelf of the Folk Arts acrylic paint shelf. You just add it to the paint (with the mythical alchemical recipe of 2parts medium to one part paint) and go to town.

In addition to the hoodie, I also sent her a bag (like what I sell in my shop) with her name embroidered on it with pockets inside with a birdie lining (the only birdie thing I sent her). This would be item #1 that I took no pics of.

I also sent her a sock monkey with her name embroidered on it because frankly, sock monkeys kick ass.

Please excuse the pic of the monkey sitting atop the pile ‘o’ crafting crap. If you look by his feet you can catch a glimpse of the bag I sent, so I guess I’m not too pictureless. This was the first sock monkey I have ever made and it was fun. The Mister fears sock monkeys in much the same way he does murder dolls. He told me that I have to warn Jaybird. Yesterday he claimed that “Monkey will reject your slave brand and wreak havoc, I hope you’re happy with yourself.” So Jaybird, if Monkey does do that- I am very sorry. I suggest you defend yourself with a lighter as he is only fabric and polyfill. Watch his tail though, he can be tricksy with that.

The last thing I sent her was a coffee drinking hat, an institution started by my friend Jim (of whom I could find only two pics and this was the better of the two). The intent of the Coffee Drinking Hat is to warn people that you have yet to have your coffee while simutaneously acclimating you to the morning. It comes equipped with muffling earflaps, quieting pom poms, and strangling strings.Oh, and its really really long….. I forgot to mention that (photo credit: Jaybird herself).

I had hoped to add more stuff to her package, but ran out of money in the crafty budget from having to buy a second hoodie.

And then I received from her…….. she spoiled me rotten, past rotten, and into the next life.. Seriously. She post stalked me good and spoiled me so bad. She sent me a card that details all the stuff in the box and I barely opened the card when I saw these two little words…..
“Jayne Cobb”
Then I snatched up the first package I came to and got this (from my Wist) my very own Jayne Cobb from Firefly hat

Sam immediately appropraited it and refused to give it back, here he is hiding his shame from the paparazzi, a la Wynona Rider:

She also sent me Chai Tea flavored Lip Balm, also from my Wist, which is already in use and in my purse. By the way, he napped in that hat.

She sent me packages for each monkey including a tshirt and a small prize (and fruit snacks!).

She also sent me a crocheted purse with beads and a crocheted headband:

And because I’m nutty about squirrels (Ha!) she sent me a Conley Squirrel Tea towel:

And the Hoodie (I FREAKING LOVE Squirrels!!):

And then, as if that wasn’t enough…. in her post stalkerage she saw that the Mister had donated my button collection to Goodwill thinking it was …ahem… “Clutter”…. and that I was trying desperately to get some more to add to what I had and she sends these:

See I told you…. she spoiled me rotten. Oh I am not worthy!

I have safely made it back from the wilds of West Pennsylginia, without being violated by backwoodsmen and men who request that I squeal like a piggy. The fear was there though.

I ended up in a place called Deep Creek Maryland, which was nice even though I doubt the validity of its claims of deep creeks. I did get to see the BIG FREAKING LAKE. Why it isn’t called BIG FREAKING LAKE Maryland is beyond me…. but were it called that I would most certainly buy a souvenir. One of my favoritest things? Passing through Accident, Maryland. Its a real place! We sat around for a good bit trying to divine the origin of the town name….. I guess we’ll never know. In any case, we all settled in for a nice stay in a cabin deep in the woods on the lake front. It was nice, even the ant infestation of my room at the beginning of the trip was not enough of a deterrant to keep my enjoyment away.
We also went to Swallow Falls (a name at which I snickered almost constantly) and walked the trails there. It was beautiful as we found three waterfalls and several more smaller waterfells (not a typo, waterfells thankyouverymuch…. just small enough that the water has no time to contemplate its falling).

Pictures will be forthcoming, so watch this space.

Here are some pics of my trip to West Pennsylginia….

This is the “cabin” we stayed in which is, by far, a billion times better than my own home…..

The cabin was lakefront with our own personal dock….

We had no boat, so we made due….

During our stay we visited Swallow Falls (insert snickering here). This is NOT Swallow Falls. I have no idea which of the falls we saw WAS Swallow Falls. This is Muddy Creek Falls. Odd bit of useless trivia… as you walk along the trail that follows the river these waterfalls and fells are on the water changes the direction in which it flows. Supposedly there is a bit where these two rivers meet, but we never saw it and I doubt its existance. So if freaky non natural rivers is your thing…. go to West Pennsylginia!

The Garrett County Fair was occuring during our visit, so naturally we went. I, the closet our group had to an actual redneck, was the tour guide of all things countryfied for my city in laws. I had to explain to them all the intricacies of a county fair, as well as the politics. One highlight of our fair adventure was watching my Sister In Law push a double stroller through the cow barn. The patrons of the county fair looked as if they were made up primarily of the stereotypes of men I have dated in the past, 50% redneck, 50% slacker no job having slobs. I think it was at this point that I thanked God I married my husband….. alot….. and often….. and a little extra just in case. My sister in law described the fair people as extras from the movie Wrong Turn. Now I have never seen this movie, but the best she could equate it to for me was the angry inbred episode of X-files- I think she may have exaggerated a tiny bit. In any case, we saw alot of animals and the kids rode alot of rides……

Sadly, we were unable to throw a ping pong ball into the glass to win a fish that I was assured by Sam would have been named Charlie. There are more photos, but I’ll save you from drowning in saccharine laden kiddie photos. I did alot of knitting and I remade my swap partener’s hoodie. All in all the trip was awesome. Hopefully we’ll do it again next year and hubby can come along this time so I can just lock myself in my room and knit while my inlaws slide trays of food under the door to insure I live.

My favoritest picture from my trip?

The air was indeed thick with Hot Flying Popcorn, the little buggers swarm you every chance they got. Lucky for me that I carry a can of Hot Flying Popcorn repellant in my purse because nothing is worse than Hot Flying Popcorn flapping in your hair…. its true.

So, here I am at 7am on Sunday morning- writing. In about an hour or so I’ll be shaking the kids awake for them to get ready for church. Its a fun time to be had by all…really.

After chruch, we’ll be coming straight home and then almost immediately get picked up by my MIL (Mother In Law) and shuffled into a van, and then shuffled further into the wilds of Maryland where we will be staying for almost a week…. just me and my kids, and my in laws, and my in laws’ kids. Hubby will not be joining us, claiming this thing called “work” will be keeping him here. I think it is because he’ll have pratically almost a full week of being able to play WoW without me giving disapproving looks over knitting… but when I get back… oh man I’ll know…. and he’ll get such a look.

After looking through a map I have divined pretty much where we will be in Maryland (having no idea before)…. we’ll be in that little forgotten bit that’s shoved in between West Virginia and Pennsylvania…. you know, that bit of Maryland that people forget is part of Maryland… the afterthought Maryland per se… or what I like to call, West Pennsylginia.

Ah yes, good ole West Pennsylginia……

To Jaybird, my Craft swap partner, I’ll be sending your package when I get back. Your first hoodie met with an unfortunate accident…… let’s just say that this picture of Sam making Pancake Mix Snow Angels is PALE in comparison to what he did to Hoodie version 1.0.

Trust me on this.

Have fun everyone, behave yourselves as well as possible while I’m gone, and no breaking ino my house to poop.

For starters for Vaguely Urban… I couldn’t actually blog a Primanti’s visit (they gave me a serious talking to about taking pics inside the restaurant for some reason) but I did manage to get you this:


I probably had the strangest conversation ever while trying to procure you those, highlights include:
“Why can’t I take a picture of my sandwich? Its my sandwich, I bought it, I’m eating it….. so you’re saying I can do all those things concerning my sandwich and yet I am still not allowed to take a photo of it? What if I was drunk right now and had a camera phone… would that be acceptable? What if I take my sandwich outside and take its picture out there? I assure you the photos of my sandwich will be totally tasteful and not sexually provacitive in any manner… can I take one now? No?”

Because of the swap I am currently participating in I can’t post pics of current projects. Sad, I know, and in leu of this projectless post I thought I would add this tidbit.

I have frequently discussed myself and the Mister’s relationship on here…. not too detailed because frankly I will only coddle your nebbyness (I thought that with the recent Pittsburgh posts I would use a Pittsburgh word…. nebby [neb-bee] means nosey) so much. In any case, this is one of my favorite ‘Us’ stories… don’t worry its not all that gag reflex inspiring…….

Five years ago or so I was out with a friend. He had asked if I had wanted to see a movie at the new Lowe’s down at the Waterfront and I had said ‘sure’ so off we went with his family. So after we watched Exit Wounds we were all riding in the family SUV on the way back to Pittsburgh proper. My friend’s phone rings and he answers, then looks at me and says “Yes, she’s with me” and hands the phone in my general direction. I start to think of all the terrible things that it could be……..
Something ill befell a family member
My dog exploded
The place where I worked exploded
My house exploded
And I tentitively answer , “Yes?”

My friend Sabrina was on the phone and she began to ramble quickly about the reason for her call. I can only imagine what my friend’s parents thought hearing this in the back seat:
“Yes she’s with me” [hands phone to me]
“Yes?” [makes a tangible scaredycat gulping noise]
“What?! Say that again” [looks scared and shocked]
“What do you mean someone has broke into my house?” [getting a little loud due to nerves]
“Have the police been called?”
“No?! Why not?!!!!!”
“What do you mean there was no real reason to?!!!”
[listens intently] {its beneficial at this point in the story to imagine every “…” as the sound of adults talking from Charlie Brown cartoons- waaa waa wa waaa waa}
“So wait…… let me get this straight…. my house was broken into…. there are breaker inners in my house right now as we speak…. Chris Conley climbed the outside of my house…. he broke in the second story window… he went downstairs and opened the front door to let people and a keg in….. so right now at this very minute there is a party occuring at my house….. and no one called the cops?…… Are you there now?…… Why the hell not?!…………… Okay, bye”

So we arrive at my house, sans cops on the front street. I look at the second story window that was supposedly broken in and it looks fine, I wonder if I forgot to lock it. I stand at my front door and listen, no sounds of outrageous fun being had without me in my own apartment. I start wondering if I will have to burn the sheets on my uber comfortable bed because someone who isn’t me is having sex in it. I put my key in lock, I start to hyperventilate in anger. I open the front door, I open my apartment door……..
Quiet.
I wonder if everyone partied and left, leaving me with a huge mess to clean up. I slowly walk up the stairs, terrified I might find my dog passed out drunk from drinking too much Yuengling. I climb the stairs like a Dead Woman Walking to look over the banister and see……
Chris and our friend Vince sitting on the floor in my living room playing the Playstation with the keg between them.
And that was it.
No mess, no explosions, no party leavings- just two guys and a keg playing playstation.
I walk in, speechless.
“Hey Stephieface, how was the movie?” says Vince.
blink

blink, blink

blink
And I say, “The movie was good, marred only by the fact the I got a phone call on Zach’s cell phone that my house was broken into and that you motards were throwing a party in my apartment.”

And Chris says, “Well yeah, we had to break in, we both had to shit really bad.”
And I still married the man… go figure.

ETA: More updates for the update post. A while ago I was contacted by a friend who asked if I was interested in writing for a LARPing magazine. I said ‘sure’ but didn’t hear much back until recently. I received an email where I was offered a job on the writing staff of the Live Action Roleplay (LARP) magazine who’s title I still have yet to divine. And get this………. its a paying job…. how about them apples? So basically I would be just writing articles on anything, I wouldn’t have a specific section per se. Though , I used to write articles for new LARPers, telling them what to bring, what to expect, how tos, etc- so most like I’ll be writing similar articles to those. I already have my first one a brewing in my head…… “How NOT To Be A Stinky LARPer”….. trust me its a bigger problem than you think.

I wish I had known when Utilikilts were voting on their Mock-U-mercials…… I would have totally voted for the “Kiltos” one, which is my favorite of the pack.

And speaking of writing, kilts, and knitting… Didn’t think I could connect the three, did you?…….check out Dave’s site over at Sweater Project. Why? Your reasons:
1. He is a guy, if you recall my #3 favoritest thing that begins with M is Men
2. He wears a kilt- and not just on Scottish holidays or at haggis fest. I don’t know what it is about a man in a kilt, but they make me swoon. No really, they do, 7 years ago I was at a Renn Faire watching the men in kilts swordfight shirtless, I stood there all day and passed out from heat exhaustion and sunburn because I could not (read would not… or better yet refused) to look away…. and to this day I can say with aplomb- “It was totally worth it”. That and I am a card carrying member of the Hack & Slash Flash Zone club and have been since I was 18.
3. He knits, and not just stockinette, we’re talking intarsia/fair isle celtic cables. So when you have to totally rip out a whole sock, he knows your pain.

ETA, ETA: So I just checked my mail, and as I have kids I receive the Build-A-Bear Workshop newsletter ad thingy. Inside was a contest piece to win a trip to Mexico or some other cool prizes:

You lift the “Stones” reveal your secret code and have to go to the store to see what you won. Why am I showing you this? Because of this (Click for closeup):

If I were you Canadians, I’d complain or be proud… I’m not sure which.

ETA, ETA, ETA: For those curious among us who have no idea what a Primanti’s sandwich is:

This picture is from the Primanti’s Site and I believe that is a roast beef and provalone sandwich as a base, with tomato, onion, coleslaw, and fries. Oh yes- everything IS piled all in the sandwich, and it IS as damn good as they claim it is.

I post alot about the neighborhhood I live in, and about the laundromat I go to for freakdom infused laundry. I know though that they are kind of hard to imagine on their own with just me talking about them, so I thought I would show you a bit of my life:

This is a street that I have to drive to get near my house… I apologize now for the blurriness of some of the photos… I was taking them as I was driving the car… I can multitask, but I usually end up doing one thing better than the other and in this case I think choosing the car driving was the better of the options:

Same street further on:
I think how the grafitti is aesthetically pleasing with the buildings makes all the difference… really.

When I first moved in many years ago there was an old lady who lived next door. One day there was a ruckus outside of my home, and I went out to see what all the hubbub was about. There was several cops and an ambulance parked outside on the street and all the neighbors had come out as well. At the time I stood there, and nudged my friend Vince in the ribs and said quietly “God, you’d think someone died or something”. Lo and behold I must have been psychic as the little old lady next door had just vacated her home to go to the great bingo hall in the sky. For months her relatives tried renting out the place to no avail. They even added aluminum siding…. though sadly that siding covers only what is visible from the front street and no more, it stops after about a foot on the sides. So after a few more weeks of vacancy the windows got boarded up, and there it stayed for years. Last year the owners decided to have another go, so they remodeled the sucker… at least I think they did… and put it up for rent. This is how it looks now:

As you can see, after the 7th break in they decided to board up the front door, however not before all the copper pipes in the place had been stolen for scrap and not before the fat kid next door threw a few bricks through the window. If you look closely you can even see where he took a sledgehammer to the door board in an effort to rebreak it down. Some of those weeds there you see in the front are poison ivy… nice eh? This next pic is the back of the house… now they did try to use the whole curb appeal thing to their adventage, but curb appeal only goes so far when the back looks like this:

Oh yeah, that is a scrap door being used to board up a window… classy huh? Those boards have been up since the old lady died. Notice the lack of aluminum siding. As well I’m pretty sure that this piece just laying on the roof here is pretty important for something:
My neighborhood just exudes class, doesn’t it? In the above pic you can see part of the destructive fat kid’s house. To the upper left you see a roof like protrusion. The kids who live in this house play on that roof which is two stories up. They wrestle, they let off illegal fireworks, they even sun themselves out there. Hard to believe isn’t it?

Not as hard as you may think.

Apparently roof playing is common in this neighborhood as the kids across the street do it as well.

Now on to my freaky laundromat. The laundromat I go to is in Southside Pittsburgh. Regardless of where I have lived in and around Pittsburgh I have always loved Southside the best of all the neighborhoods. Southside is a convenient 10 minute or so walk from my current house, its laundromat is cheaper than the one three blocks from my house, and though I may get dry humped by midgets I find that its a better alternative than being shot at or robbed.
So for starters we have the laundromat survival kit:

Knitting, Non-peepeefied Sansa, something to read (in this case a back issue of BH&G), a pop, and coffee cakes.
And laundry just isn’t laundry unless you are seranaded by PAT mass transit buses going by every five or so minutes:

Here is the business portions of the laundromat:


Oooooooo Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh……….. how ultimately laundromatty!! There are only 5 chairs on my laundromat, and this is never a problem. If you look very closely in the pictures you will see lots of laundry being done. Of all that laundry the one machine with the green bottle of softener is mine…. the rest all belongs to people who put their wash in and go out to a bar and drink- to return later and switch to the dryer and return back to the bar. At one point, on the day I took these pics, every dryer along the back wall was being used and I was the only person in there… no lie.
This sign makes noise:

They say: “ECONOWASH LAUNDROMAT”, “STORE HOURS SUN-THURS 7AM-Mid”, and “Air Conditioned”. The Air Conditioned sign is a lie…. a complete lie. Though a funny story…. see the red house with the blue door? An old lady used to live there who would walk over to the laundromat, grab a rolly basket, fill it up with clothes from a dryer, and return home, to later return the rolly basket. Thing is…. it wasn’t her laundry. She was stealing other people’s laundry all day since people leave it unattended and taking their laundry home. A lady who works for this place told me that one day one of the owners went over there since they saw her take the cart only to go inside and see the place was laundry wall to wall. She was apparently stealing it to sell at Trader Jack’s (which is like an every weekend open sale, yard sale, thingy type place).

And since I was on a mission to take photos for you folks I decided to walk around Southside a bit, but I couldn’t stray too far from my laundry…. its just clothes… but they’re MY clothes damn it… so I walked around the block that the laundromat was located on.

Cute little street with these inset into the pavement:

There was also this:

Its good to know that past ethnic describers are still in use in today’s business world…. “Hi, is this Harry O’Brien, the Irishman?” “No, I’m sorry you have the wrong number. I’m Harry O’Brien the Italian.”

During my walk I discovered something…….. something which may very well be the cause of all the freakdom at the laundromat……. just 5 houses down from where I wash my delicates was this!!!!:

Do you dare click for a closer view… let me save you the trouble:

Apparently I discovered the location of the Secret Sect Of Southside Carnies, who else would have a carnival helicopter ride in their backyard?